Your Life Will Be Judged by the Line at Your Wake
In January 2022, I was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer.
Since, I have endured forty-two rounds of chemotherapy and nine surgeries including a lifesaving live donor liver transplant in which my son was my living donor. A gift that words will never be fully captured. Today, I am incredibly grateful to say that I am alive and managing this disease to the best of my ability. Sure, there are more surgeries and challenges in my future but that is okay. I am fine today and that is all that matters! Tomorrow’s challenges will be delt with if/when they arise. Statistically, I am one of the fortunate who have survived this long, and I never take that blessing for granted.
Many people are surprised when they hear this story because, until now, I have rarely spoken about it publicly.
Most people had no idea what I was going through. I continued working throughout treatment, placing an autoresponder on my email only during surgeries. I built a home office so I could work remotely on chemotherapy days. A couple weeks after my liver transplant I was already working more than eight hours a day, and I returned full-time just five weeks after surgery. (Let’s keep that last part between us.)
People often ask how I remained so positive under circumstances that would have overwhelmed many others; the answer is simple.
For years, I have lived by one fundamental belief:
Your beliefs drive your behavior, your behavior drives your performance, and your performance produces your results.
I believe that same principle applies equally to life, leadership, business, sports, and even surviving cancer.
Begin with the End in Mind
Not long ago, Facebook reminded me of something I had written more than a decade earlier:
“Your life will be judged by the line at your wake.”
That statement hit me differently after my diagnosis.
When my oncologist explained that the average person with my diagnosis had only 24 to 28 months to live, I could not help but think about the end of my own story.
Death comes for all of us, none of us know when, and we cannot avoid it.
But we can choose how we live before it arrives.
Long before cancer entered my life, I often asked myself tough questions.
- What do I want my wife to say about me?
- What do I want my children to remember?
- What will my parents say after I am gone?
- My coworkers?
- My friends?
- My neighbors?
Then came the harder question:
Would they say those things about me today?
If the answer was no, then I still had time to change.
That thought process changed everything.
The Same Formula Builds Great Companies
The principles that guide me through my cancer journey are the exact same principles I have used throughout my leadership career.
Every successful organization starts with a desired result.
Do you want a company known for integrity?
Do you want an engaged workforce?
Do you want exceptional customer service?
Do you want sustainable profitability?
Start with the result, then ask yourself:
Do our beliefs support that outcome?
If they do, your behaviors should naturally align with those beliefs. Those behaviors create consistent performance, and over time, performance creates the results you are pursuing.
Too many organizations focus only on today’s problems.
The best leaders focus on the process to reach tomorrow’s destination.
Why I Never Stopped Working
Some people questioned why I continued working during chemotherapy and after major surgeries.
The answer was not because I felt obligated.
It was because I refused to let cancer dictate my behavior.
People depended on me.
Our clients depend on us.
The goals we were pursuing together still mattered.
I was not trying to prove how tough I was.
I simply refused to allow my circumstances to determine my character.
That same mindset has guided me through more than 30 years of leadership. Whether facing business challenges or personal adversity, I have always believed that maintaining the right behavior ultimately leads to the right outcomes.
Purpose Doesn't Pause
Cancer also was not going to stop me from giving back.
For the past ten years, my daughter and I have donated toys to children during the Christmas season.
One of my favorite photographs was taken just two weeks before my liver transplant as we delivered toys together.
I was not feeling my best but somewhere, children were counting on those gifts.
Sometimes our greatest purpose comes when it is least convenient.
“My daughter and me.”
Why I am Sharing This?
I have kept this journey private for a long time.
Today, I am sharing it because too many people become consumed by today’s circumstances and lose sight of the bigger picture.
Do not get distracted by outcomes, focus on the process and the outcome will happen.
Whether you are building a business, raising a family, leading a team, or simply trying to become a better person, the process is remarkably similar.
Start with the result you want.
Then, examine your beliefs.
Because your beliefs shape your behaviors.
Your behavior determines your performance.
And your performance ultimately produces your results.
Those beliefs and behaviors played a significant role in being a survivor who can share my journey.
I also believe they have helped me become a better husband, father, son, friend, neighbor, leader, and mentor.
I am the person who returns the shopping cart.
I am the person who holds the door.
I am the person who tries to leave every interaction just a little better than I found it.
Call it faith.
Call it karma.
Call it personal responsibility.
Whatever name you choose, the world desperately needs more people whose actions consistently reflect positive beliefs.
When my time eventually comes, I hope there will be a long line at my wake.
Not because of titles I have held.
Not because of companies I have helped build.
But because of the lives I have positively impacted.
That is my personal definition of success.
So let me leave you with one final question:
What result do you want your life to produce?
Then ask yourself honestly:
Are your beliefs and your behaviors going to get you there?
